KTS Support Group Meeting
July 26-27, 2002
Hope M. Harrison

In Lord of The Rings, Vol. 1, the author J.R.R. Tolkien, writes:

Frodo: "I am not made for such a perilous quests. I wish I had never seen the Ring! Why did it come to me? Why was I chosen?"

Frodo is told that he was chosen and must make the best of it.

"But where shall I find the courage?" Frodo asked.

And Gildor answered him: "Courage is found in unlikely places. Be of good hope."

On the question of "why me?" "Why do some people have to bear such hardships?", my best friend's mother once said something that fascinated me. She said, "maybe it isn't about you. Maybe it is about the rest of us, what we all learn from you and your strength."

In Lord of The Rings, Gandalf reassured Frodo: "I don't think you need go alone. Not if you know of anyone you can trust, and who would be willing to go by your side."

In her book, Coping with Limb Loss, Dr. Ellen Winchell writes: "a life lived with limb loss is not necessarily qualitatively 'better' or 'worse' than any other. It is how you live the life you have, and the meaning you impart to the happenings in your life that determines its quality."

Undergoing amputation and recovery can prompt you to deepen your appreciation of being alive, and cause you to reorder your life priorities. This experience can open your heart to greater depths of compassion and love for yourself and others, and inspire a greater manifestation of consciousness in your life."

Eleanor Roosevelt said of her husband, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt: "Franklin's illness gave him strength and courage he had not had before. He had to think out fundamentals of living and learn the greatest of all lessons -- infinite patience and never-ending persistence." This is etched into the wall above the sculpture of FDR sitting in his wheelchair at the FDR memorial in Washington, D.C.

The 3-time Tour De France winner, Lance Armstrong wrote in his autobiography, It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life:

"The truth is that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know why I got the illness, but it did wonders for me, and I wouldn't want to walk away from it. Why would I want to change, even for a day, the most important and shaping event in my life?"

When I was sick, I saw more beauty and triumph and truth in a single day than I ever did in a bike race--but they were human moments, not miraculous ones."

My college roommate, Julia Gordon, said to me when I was having a difficult day and feeling sorry for myself: "Everyone has something. You just have something you can lean against the dresser"--meaning my prosthesis.

My best friend's mother, Marion Onufrak once said to me: "Just as women who lose a breast to breast cancer are taught to love what they have left, it's very important that you love your stump. It's part of you and a very important part of you." Love that part of you that has KTS. Love every part of yourself.

In Andrew Potok's recent book, A Matter of Dignity: Changing the World of the Disabled. he quotes John Fago, a photographer, teacher, prosthetist, and amputee: "As amputees, perhaps as all disabled people, we have to ask ourselves some crucial questions. Is the equipment we use intended to help our mobility or to hide our disability? Should we take risks, be models for others, an inspiration, or should we stay out of the way, try to be invisible?"

Things to remember:
1. Courage is a muscle that grows with use.
2. Don't give up--practice the patience and persistence that FDR did.
3. Cry when you need to. Let it out. Writing down your thoughts can help too.
4. Lean on those you can. There always are people who want to help. But spread out the leaning so it's not too much for any one person.
5. Be grateful for the good things, including life itself.
6. Love and accept your body and yourself.
7. Take it day by day; sometimes that's all you can do.
8. Get good medical care. Change doctors if you have to. Ask difficult questions, even it you are afraid to hear the answers. You are responsible for you physical well-being.
9. Talk to or read about others who have also coped with a difficulty, especially a physical one, but not necessarily just that.
10. You're not alone. 1 in 12 children has some sort of disability, and on the average, people can expect to be disabled for a total of 13 years in their lifetime. Everybody really has something to worry about. So, "a life lived with KTS is not necessarily better or worse than any other life."